Day 1

Finally! Blood has been taken, and the test results are imminent. I have eaten my last gluten for a while. A rather yummy, I will miss you, pretzel bun was my last gluten meal.

In a weird twist of fate, after months of looking, I finally found gluten free bread (Little Northern Bakehouse) at my local Costco. Today I had a GF grilled cheese, and it was delicious.

While eating gluten, my gut has just been complaining. Today I finally have a gut message that says, I still don’t like you, but (for now) I will keep down this food. Can’t wait for a nice message from my poop! I hope it only takes a few days!

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Day 4

The most important thing I have learned in this 6 weeks – not all gluten is created equal. Some “breads” I eat affect me quite differently than others. For the rest of my gluten eating days (the 4 of them), I declare it shall all be donuts and the like!

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Day 6

Almost done now. I can’t hold back enough bad words to convey how terrible I think it is, that six weeks of eating gluten is necessary for this test. It is the stupidest thing imaginable, that this is the best test we have. I have had to put myself in the position of being sick for six solid weeks for this. I know how dumb this is, and everyone close to me does as well now. Six weeks of potential cancer causing damage to my body. Six weeks of diarrhea. Six weeks of puking. Perhaps with the mountains of shite I produced in the last six weeks there could have been an earlier test developed? I had plenty of samples available!

But the government is quick to send me their shitty colon testing reminders. Endlessly. Right when I can’t actually do the test for them. Hey morons, perhaps the overall health care system could be just a little invested in my health care? But no. Being gluten intolerant (the health care system has no available therapies for this BTW) is a very poorly understood illness. Most people feel free to let you know it is all in your head and not even a real illness. I am following a fad. Yippie.

Being gluten intolerant is good for finding the bullshit in others. It is suddenly easy to find people with idiot opinions about things they don’t know anything about. Oh wait, I was reading American politics, never mind! Same difference!

Ugh my stomach hurts, time to go eat my daily gluten prescription for the 6th last time.

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Day 13

And another thing, what is up with my body trying to puke before I eat? Absolutely ridiculous! Just another delightful indignity my gut can unleash. Gluten, I will not miss you.

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Day 16

Today is exactly 14 days away from removing gluten from my diet (again). I only have 10 antacid tablets left… uh oh, gonna need a run to the shop!

I still can’t say enough how much this sucks to take this test. I have had my fill of cake, breads, and pastry. I will miss gluten for how it tastes, but not how it makes me feel.

I feel very grateful that my issues are not as bad as some of the stories I read from people online. It gives me some hope that maybe this is just a gluten intolerance and not cancer causing problems for my insides. My insides definitely want a break after 4 weeks.

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Day 21

Three weeks left. I completely understand why some people do not want to eat gluten. I wish fewer weeks would be sufficient. Covid is keeping us home, on the plus side, I’m doing this in the most comfortable way possible.

To add to the indignities, I have a rash on my arms. I am also covered in bug bites from working on the garden. There are so many more bugs around this year, today I saw an iridescent green fly, that I don’t know if I have ever seen before.

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Day 25

I have been helping a friend with their books before they deal with the gov’t. It’s good, as it has been taking my mind off this crazy assed bloating going on. What an absolutely insane thing! Some days I can fit into my own pants, somedays, its nothing but sweatpants and elastic waists. In the past I have blamed my waistline on menopause, but now I guess I may be rethinking that. Since Jan I have been trying harder to lose weight, and my waistline has ben stubbornly refusing to budge. When I went gluten free for 2. 5months, I was able to lose weight. Now back on gluten, I definitely notice this as being a more uncomfortable part than I ever really thought about before. Funny how some things creep up on you when you don’t really notice.

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Day 28

Got a deli order together for Father’s Day and I purchased all my gluten favourites while I was there. Matzo Ball Soup, Blintzes, Latkes, Rye Bread, etc.. Mmmmm so good going down, but so ugly once it gets there!

I am digging holes in my backyard. For vegetables. With an ergonomic shovel. I eat my gluten in the morning, and today I was sweating it out in the afternoon. Digesting and physical exercise wiped me out. The day is overly humid too, but not a heat warning day, at least.

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Day 31

Two weeks down, four to go.

Tired of focusing on my own poop. Looking at my birdie’s poop instead. They don’t poop the same way as mammals. We watch the parrot’s poop as a measure of their health. Also to discuss with the vet, when they get sick.

I swear one of my birdies poops faces! Of course, I have pics.

Sort of like a bear.

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Day 32

Today is the first day I can’t complain about my poop since I started eating gluten for the upcoming test. Maybe I didn’t eat 2 slices worth of bread yesterday? Maybe my body is getting used to what I’m doing to it? Whatever it is, it has made for a beautiful start for the day. I could eat breakfast without my stomach doing flip flops. The sun is shining. My garden needs attention. And there is a turkey in my backyard! OK, gardening can wait. Knitting then!

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